Young Rascals It Beautiful Morning, the birds are singing their own songs.,.
I woke up Monday morning and went downstairs to get my first cup of coffee. It’s September 20th 2008, the morning is so beautiful. A cloudless sky, dry air, and a slight chill in the air that would dissipate as the sun rose a little higher. The Cabana awning was still up on the deck keeping the table dew free and dry. “It’s a beautiful backyard and everything is still very green. “I love this yard.” I said to myself. Big bouquets of orange and yellow marigolds border our organic vegetable garden. It is still producing some tomatoes, Eggplant, peppers, cabbage. The 20 or so sparrows are flying back and forth from the thick cover of the leyland cypruses that border the property to the bird feeder just off the back deck where I,m sitting finishing my coffee. They make such a cacaphony with their multiple high pitched chirping. They seem so happy. ” I better go get Deb up,’ I thought. Deb always gets up allowing for just enough time to get to work. There was no sipping her coffee,and watching some news; its a “to go” cup for her. She has getting ready for work down to a science.
She works in the Amityville School district as a specialist in the special Ed department database development and maintenance. “Deb, you getting up”? “No, I don’t feel good. I have a headache, and I don’t feel right. Could you call them and tell them I,ll be in at noon please?” “Okay, I’ll do it now.”
So I went to my office off the living room. It was the old screened-in porch and we had it enclosed.The morning passed and Deb was on her way to work at noon.
At 12:35 the phone rang. It was Jodie Shapiro, Deb’s boss. “Tom, Deb is in an ambulance and on her way to Mid-Island Hospital; she collapsed in her chair at work and stopped breathing. She was very blue, she was defribbed and that’s all I know. It doesn’t look good.
My legs went limp. My heart was pounding .My throat became dry and tight. I couldn’t think. “But I have to think…”I told myself. “Call Alicia.” “Li, mom is in an ambulance. She suffered a cardiac arrest. Get to Mid-Island hospital. Do you know where Kate is? I’ll get Tim. I’ll see you there.” Driving to the hospital with Tim, who is 16, and hearing him praying for his mother’s life.”Please don’t let her die, my mom can’t die.” I’m constantly just telling myself “I have to keep it together, I have to stay with “right now”. ” My head is still talking a mile a minute. ” Your supposed to get on a plane tomorrow for Vegas for the Olympia show… What if Deb didn’t make it… Where’s Kate? We can’t find her. Oh God,”. Tim is shaking.. I was floating out of control with fear. I felt out of my body.
We pulled into the ER parking lot and the EMT’s were waiting for us. “She flat lined 3 times on us. We defribbed her and gave her everything we could; Atropine, Adrenaline, epinephrine. We really hope she makes it.” I thanked them and we headed into into the ER.” Where is my wife?” “Through that door to the right.” No questions asked, she knew who we were and she’s seen it many times before. Deb is on a gurney against a wall that was tilted downward with her feet lower than her head. She is hooked up to a respirator with tubes, wires all over her upper body. Her head area was enclosed in a clear view plastic tent. Her body was shaking uncontrollably. She was comatose. This is the cardiac stabilization area. The monitors are blinking and beeping in a steady rhythm.
It is cold and stark, like a storeroom it seems. Tim is sitting with his head in his hands leaning over a chair. I know he was relieved that his mom was alive. Her legs were vibrating as if she was hooked up to a battery. It was from the drugs. Alicia walked in and I could see the shock and disbelief in her face. The same thing went through me many times….”This always happens to some other family.” My brain was free falling. I was cracking. “Alicia, I’ve got to keep my shit together, I’ve got to keep my shit together.” “Dad, you will, you have to.” She was stoic. I am sitting on a bucket or something. This place feels like a garage. Her words bring me back from the depths. A man approaches me and introduces himself as the director of the hospital explaining that his hospital is only providing a cardiac stabilization unit. He explained that we were waiting on word where a space for Deb will be found; either St Francis or North Shore, part of Long Island Jewish chain. My three kids with Deb, Alicia 22, Kate 20, and Tim were all born here. “Where’s Kate?” “She’s on her way, Dad.”
I went outside and called John Morin, the owner of Inner Armour”, a sport nutrition company that I was working for. ” John, Deb collapsed at work. She had multiple cardiac arrests. I’m at the hospital where they stabilized her, we are waiting on word for bed in a critical cardiac care unit. She’s unconscious. I won’t be leaving for Vegas tomorrow. I can’t lose my wife and I’m so fucking scared.” A silence on the line that seemed awhile. “Tom, take care of your family. Call me later, please.” “OK, I will.” I understood how he felt.
Amityville is a small village and news travels fast. My phone was ringing and I took family calls and briefed them. Kate came in the front door of the hospital and we went to the refrigerated stabilization room. I am thinking about the kids….what they are going through. Kate and I go to receiving and she helps me with the paperwork. They tell us Deb is going to North Shore.. about 8 miles away from here. It is 3:30 PM.
I finish with paperwork in the receiving dept. at North Shore and move through the lobby to the elevators. This hospital is huge. It is a teaching hospital and the lobby is like a miniature indoor mall with Cafeteria, gift shops, chapel,etc. Upon reaching the CCU floor, I go through the big wide doors and down the hallway to Deb’s room. The room is about 15×12 and Deb’s Bed takes up nearly half the space. The kids are there, a doctor comes in and gives me the brief. “She is stable, her heart is only having very minor fribs, we don’t know what caused this, and we would like to ask you some questions to help us with causation, but not now; tomorrow.” I was on my own adrenaline.
I went over to touch her hand. It had warmth. She was still with us and also still unconscious which wasn’t the biggest concern for the medical staff at this time. We watched as the family members arrived in the room. When they saw Deb and all the equipment she was attached to, you saw the fear and uncertainty in their faces. Her brother Danny broke down and left the room returning a few minutes later with a red tear stained face. I felt it. All of it. We stayed late into the evening. It was time to go home. There was fear gripping my stomach, making me lightheaded. A lot of fear for my kids and Deb. Is she gonna make it?
Walking to the parking garage, I looked up in the sky. The moon was three quarters and waning. It was starting to smell like autumn.
“Why,why,why?” There was guilt. “Did I cause this?” We arrived home and there was food for us. Baked ziti, bread, salad. I drank Vodka to help me sleep. Tomorrow is another day.
It looks like a building out of a Dickens novel, doesn’t it? The nuns convent was right next to it here.
My teacher in the 4th grade was Sister Mary Dorothy. She was probably 65-70 yrs old and our classroom consisted of over 50 kids. Now , as you no doubt can see, this building could pass for a state mental institution, but instead, our classroom was a zoo. Kids collected together with various learning disabilities and an old nun that had a heatlamp on her desk warming her face and an electric single burner that she would use to cook soft boiled eggs.
We had an old turntable attached to a big mono floor speaker that stood about 3 feet high in the basement. There were a few of Dylan’s poems on the album