October 15, 2019
Dear Reader,
I woke up this morning at 7 AM and went to study my NASM CES course materials as I want to take the exam before the end of this month. Anothe rrealization came to me as I mailed my 2108 tax return. This is more debt on top of the existing debt. I have a plan to reduce my Debt in the next 12 months by 20K, which will essentially cut it in half and goive me breathing room. The stress of my life would destroy most other men. I have another view that keeps my blood pressure somewhat in check.
The brain….yours and mine, likes to create stories that are very rational and designed to protect yourself from the real stresses of daily living… with the issues that are pressing and don’t stop applying pressure and increasing one’s anxiety. I realize that life is somewhat of a bad joke. But I also know that Deb depends on me 100% to care for her. I love her and want to keep her safe and well. The money issue invades my brain and shoots me feelings of failure. I’m not a failure and I have made mistakes in staying in a business game too long and acquiring excessive debt.
So I need about three more clients to see me through this cash crunch. That means outreach is critical. Anyway , dear reader; about the day today. I need to stay focused on the “now” of everything. I have my “To Do” list for tomorrow and beyond.
Today , I worked from 7:30 till 4 PM with a break to get Deb up and a meal. At 4PM, we went to the beach to walk and relax (me). Deb’s always very relaxed. More on that next time. We got home and I went to the grocery store right next to us and picked up some things for dinner. I had Deb get in the shower and wash her hair while I made dinner. Now I am sitting here in my office writing this. Out of all the things I worked on today in the business, making dinner gave me the greatest sense of accomplishment.
I pushed myself to get it on the table. Deb enjoyed it. I think I will put in a workout now. It is 8PM. The workout (30min) will help me sleep.
Thank you for reading Dear reader.